Everything seemed perfect when you started dating.
You thought you were set for life–you never imagined you and your partner would ever go your separate ways. But here you are: Getting divorced!
Even though you tried your level best to make the marriage work, it fell apart in the end. Sometimes things just don’t go according to plan and now you’re about to go through a divorce.
Many things can cause divorce: infidelity, abuse, abandonment, or perhaps you’ve drifted apart over time. Whatever the cause, just know that divorce is quite a difficult process.
Even if you’ve both agreed to separate, there are lots of things you should never do while filing for divorce.
Here are 10 things you should absolutely steer clear of to have the best shot at a fair settlement from your divorce.
Don’t Use Your Children
The most important thing you should never do is use your kids as a bargaining chip. Apart from potentially hurting your kids, this will wreck their relationship with you and with your ex-partner for many years to come.
This damage far outweighs any advantage you’d gain as your spouse will see to it that the judge handling your case knows exactly what you’ve done.
Judges become really mad at people who needlessly involve or hurt kids and don’t hesitate to penalize them.
Don’t Refuse to Visit a Therapist
Visiting a therapist may help you go through the array of emotions you’ll experience during divorce. It’s advisable to seek help before you get utterly depressed or upset.
A therapist isn’t just someone to speak with. They’re also a specialist who can help you relax, show you how to speak to your children, and how to stay calm in court. Above all, a therapist may help you work out how to be self-reliant.
Never Succumb to Anger When Filing for Divorce
Yes, it’s never easy, but it’s vital to get a handle on your emotions as much as you can. During this turbulent period, people tend to act or overreact without thinking.
The divorce will have an impact on you for years to come, so not considering the impact and making rash decisions can cause long-term damage.
So keep your cool now and you’ll reap rich rewards in the future.
Pick Your Battles
It’s essential to pick your battles. So many couples waste so much time, energy, and money fighting over every little thing, no matter how trivial.
Before you do battle, know what to expect in a divorce case. Consider what you really need and want out of the divorce going forward and focus your energies there.
Want the house? Custody of the children? The car?
You don’t want to spend hundreds of bucks or days arguing over who should get the dog painting in the living room, do you?
Never Hide Information from Your Divorce Attorney
For better or worse, lawyers only work with the facts presented in the courtroom. Surprise is not a good idea during a divorce case.
Hidden assets, destruction of marital assets, or drug use can damage your credibility in the courtroom and negatively affect the outcome of your divorce if your lawyer is not prepared for such issues beforehand.
Keeping secrets will only hurt your chances during your divorce case.
Steer Clear of Social Media
Nothing is private on the internet. Not anymore. The first place lawyers usually check for evidence during divorce is social media.
Don’t write anything on social media while your divorce is going on. That way, nothing will come back to bite you. This means staying away from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and whatever else you are on.
Of course, it is tempting mouth off about your ex-spouse. Please don’t do it. Your social media posts may and will be used against you in the courtroom.
Don’t Get Pregnant
Becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant during a divorce case is a no-no. It complicates plenty of your problems. It might even affect the results of your divorce case.
The court could become more interested in the paternity of the kid and who’ll pay child support instead of deciding how much alimony you’re going to pay or receive. Pregnancy can put the brakes on a divorce case as the court tries to find out who the baby’s father is.
You don’t want to wait several months only for your unfaithfulness to be uncovered. Don’t do it.
Never Compare Divorces
Maybe you know one or two people who’ve had a divorce. Just about everyone does.
However, it’s vital to never compare your divorce case with that of your co-worker or cousin. Every divorce case is different.
Couples have different interests and goals. Divorce laws vary significantly from state to state and affect everything from splitting assets to child custody.
Your case is specific to your situation. While there’s nothing wrong with taking advice, you should take it with a pinch of salt.
Don’t Try to Hide Money
Hiding money in a bid to keep it away from your partner is never a wise move. Once the divorce process has begun, you should never withdraw money from accounts, or move money between accounts.
You shouldn’t also liquidate any of your assets, including your house. You should also avoid using credit cards. If you’re caught doing this, you may be liable for contempt of court and even penalized.
Don’t Rule Out Mediation
While a good divorce lawyer shouldn’t be out of your reach, there’s a very real possibility that you may not need a lawyer at all.
It’s possible to use a mediator to help you reach an agreement. This option is ideal for spouses who know their finances reasonably well. It can save them money, time, and stress.
We’re sure you’re aware of many of these ‘don’ts’ when filing for divorce. A word to the wise enough! Sometimes, we’re more trouble to ourselves than to anyone else.
Divorce is never easy, but the choosing the right divorce attorney can make the process simpler for everyone involved.
Feel free to get in touch with our experienced and caring team of lawyers. Contact us today to find out how we can help with your divorce.