Every couple goes into marriage hoping that their union will be long-lasting. Unfortunately, we know that 41% of first marriages end in divorce. While you’ll understandably want to do everything you can to make your partnership work, there may come a time when you and your spouse will need to accept that it’s time to hire divorce lawyers and start the process of dissolving your marriage. While finding a divorce lawyer can be a challenge, figuring out whether it’s best to end your marriage can be even more of one. If the signs below sound all-too familiar to you, it may be time to consider divorce as a possible option for your circumstances.
- Incompatible Values
There’s a reason why “irreconcilable differences” is so often cited as a reason for seeking divorce. Whether you rushed into marriage or have evolved in ways that are separate from your partner, you may find that your belief systems no longer line up. For example, one partner might not desire children while the other longs for a big family. Alternatively, political or religious values might shift over time. If it turns out that you and your partner’s life goals or morals do not align and either one of you feels it’s not possible to be happy in your future together, it could be time to seek out lawyers for divorce.
- Severe And/Or Frequent Arguments
Psychologically speaking, the frequency of arguments matters more than their severity. Therefore, the ratio of negative interactions to positive interactions actually matters a lot, regardless of whether they might be categorized as big fights or small squabbles. However, that doesn’t mean that the severity of these disagreements has no value. Even if you have a greater number of positive interactions than negative ones, it’s possible that you may still be in an unhealthy relationship. Many couples will argue very infrequently but will exhibit hurtful or toxic behaviors when they do. Disagreements are a normal part of life, of course. But if the arguments you do have are knock-down, drag-out battles that feature name-calling and belittling, you should seek out counseling and/or help from divorce lawyers.
- Lack Of Progress In Counseling
Speaking of counseling, couples’ therapy can be an excellent way to improve communication and conflict resolution within your relationship — even if you aren’t even considering divorce. But in order for counseling to work, both parties need to be equally committed to making a positive change. When one couple feels like only they are committed to making things work or many months of therapy has yielded no real progress at home, this type of plateau might indicate a divorce is imminent. It can be tough to get used to being in therapy, especially with our society’s stigma pertaining to mental health. Still, if you or your partner refuses to attend or puts in only the bare minimum, this shows they may not even care enough to try to make the relationship work. Remember that a relationship is a two-way street. If there’s no effort being made to fix the issues, you may have to focus on finding a divorce lawyer.
- Extramarital Relationships
Unfortunately, cheating can be quite common in unhappy marriages. When a person is unfulfilled and generally unhappy in their relationship, they may seek out validation or joy from someone outside the marriage. Some couples are able to seek out therapy and repair their relationship following an affair, but for others, the trust may be irrevocably broken. If you feel your marriage is worth at least trying to save, couples’ therapy can help you assess whether you may be able to rebuild your trust and survive this event together. It can also give you a good indication as to whether you should both start finding a divorce lawyer and head to court.
While this list is by no means all-encompassing, these signs may give you an indication that you may need to start looking for the best divorce lawyers in your area. Accepting that your marriage may be over can be extremely difficult, especially if you’re having trouble finding a divorce lawyer. To schedule a consultation with a family law attorney, contact us today.