There’s no way around it, relationships are hard work. They take effort, care, and a whole lot of patience.
There may be times where that work seems like too much, and that divorcing your spouse is your best option. Perhaps after a heated argument or suspicions of infidelity, to name a few.
And while many may feel guilty for the desire to separate themselves from their spouse, it’s clear that they’re not alone.
Divorce is extremely common, with only 40 to 50 percent of respondents staying married, according to the American Psychological Association.
Is divorce the best option? It’s hard to be sure, but this article can help you figure it out. Here are seven signs you need a divorce.
1. You’ve Fallen Out of Love
Remember when you first realized you loved your spouse? It was probably one of the most magical moments of your life.
Those butterflies in your stomach, the weakness of your knees, and the intense beating of your heart. But over time, it’s possible to fall out of love with your spouse.
Butterflies turn to moths, you hardly acknowledge when your spouse walks into a room, and your heart drops when you see them.
Truthfully, this is one of the times where divorce isn’t anyone’s fault. Not all signs you need a divorce involve shouting matches or late night trysts.
You can’t force yourself to love someone, no matter how much you may want to. That doesn’t take anything away from the wonderful times you had together. It just means you’re incompatible.
2. Therapy Hasn’t Helped
It’s a feat in and of itself to convince an angry or hurt partner to attend couples counseling. They may feel like that’s only something weak people do.
But research suggests that couples who seek outside help may be more likely to stick together. In fact, 97 percent of respondents said they felt they got the help they needed from counseling.
Unfortunately, this isn’t always true. Perhaps you’ve waited too long to try counseling. Or maybe your spouse flat-out refuses to go to therapy or isn’t willing to try anything the therapist suggests.
As much as we wish it were, couples counseling doesn’t have a magic bullet effect. It can’t immediately cure deep-seated issues or make up for a stubborn partner.
Even basic relationships require a level of trust that some people just aren’t willing to live up to. If you suspect that your spouse may be seeing people outside your marriage, it can be a debilitating feeling.
You may feel like blaming yourself or think that there’s something you could have done to prevent it.
But the truth is that infidelity is the result of one partner not respecting the sanctity of their relationship. Life is far too short to stay in a relationship where you’re someone’s second choice. That goes double if you have children together.
Contact a family lawyer and ask about your options for a divorce. You may be entitled to child support payments in addition to alimony.
4. Frequent Negative Interactions With Your Spouse
The next time you and your spouse get into an argument or have a negative interaction, take a time out and ask yourself, ‘Are all of my interactions this negative?’
Some level of tension and conflict in couples is expected. But these conflicts can often be solved through compromise and dedication.
If you’re noticing most of or all of your interactions are negative, you’re experiencing one of the biggest signs you need a divorce.
That negativity can create a hostile household, even if you’re trying your best to keep it away from your children. Don’t let your relationship with your spouse get in the way of your happiness and the happiness of your kids.
If you or someone you know are the victims of domestic violence, please, reach out immediately. If you’re not comfortable speaking to a lawyer, you can reach out to The National Domestic Violence Hotline and find assistance in a safe, confidential manner.
No one deserves to be the victim of domestic violence. That includes emotional and verbal abuse as well as physical.
Abuse can take on many forms, some of which we may not even recognize until it’s too late. Divorce should become a priority if your spouse has become abusive.
6. Your Fights Affect Your Children
No child deserves to live in an environment where they feel unsafe. And whether you mean to or not, you and your spouse may be creating such an environment with your fighting.
Kids are adept at picking up on tension and fighting. You and your spouse don’t need to say a word for your child to sense the hurt and anger in the air.
It may seem like staying together for the children is the best thing you and your partner can do. However, there’s no evidence to suggest that this is true.
In fact, if you were to talk to children of divorce, you may discover that they think divorce was the right option. An unhappy marriage doesn’t magically get better, even if you have the best intentions.
7. You’ve Drifted Apart
Finally, not all signs you need a divorce involve drama and fighting. Sometimes people simply drift away from one another and grow apart.
And, as painful as it is, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just an unfortunate part of life.
The sooner you accept that you and your partner have drifted apart, the sooner you can both move on and find a happier life.
Do These Signs You Need a Divorce Sound Familiar?
Divorce is never fun, but sometimes it’s the best option. If some of these signs you need a divorce hit close to home, contact us today.
We’d love to make your divorce as easy and pain-free as possible. With years of experience, we’re sure that you’ll find that David C. Schanbacher is more than capable of handling your case.